Wednesday, November 30

Biking in Guinea

Many of you have heard me talk about my ideal site in Guinea - a small village within biking distance to a town. Here is Bonnie's story about her 45 km bike to Labe:

"First time away from Home. We had to go to Labe for girls conference mtg. I was kinda dreading it, because I'm comfortable here and would much rather stay than either biking or ride bush taxi to Labe. We had no choice but to bike, because there is no car going to Labe the day we had to go. I had to first bike 17km to another village and stay over at Toni's (another volunteer who teaches English), then the next day we left for Lave at 7:00am. There is a mountain b/w her and I, and I have to push the bike up and down at some part, because I am just not Lance Armstrong. We didn't get to Labe until 2:00pm in the afternoon. The distance isn't bad, 45km, but the terrain is a killer. 2 large mountains, water puddles, gravels that seems to glue the tires to the ground, large rocks seems like steps that we must walk to get pass, I finally got a taste of mountain biking. The scenery is beautiful, especially through the yellow wheat (?) field that is waist high, imagine biking through sea of soft flowing wheat of mountains in the distance. We passed through a few small villages, and was fun to greet people along the way. Didn't like it once we got to Labe, all the people, calling us "Portos" (white people in pular), noisy, fumes, oh-la-la, I much prefer my small and friendly village. Stay at Labe wasn't too exciting, exchanged some stories & talked about what we do for girls conference, then we just sat around. The highlight is that I got to talk to my family on the phone and reassured them things are going well at site. We stayed for 2 nights and came back to site on our bikes also. The return trip only takes 5.5 hrs, as the first leg is all downhill. We are hoping we'll get better at it each time we go. What happens to hole in tire you ask? We are equipped w/ patch kit, so it shouldn't be a problem. Although we were lucky not have encountered it in our 1st trip. I was worried about it, but now I qualified to adjust breaks. Perhaps in 2 years, if nothing else I'll be at least good at fixing bike. So I biked almost 130 km in 3 days. Very proud of myself."

Tuesday, November 29

Phantom Limb Sensation

Last night I had this dream, and it has haunted me throughout the day. Basically, without going into too much detail (because the details make me wanna hurl), I was at the dinner table with my family (mom, dad, grandma) and I was talking to my dad. We were getting ready to eat, and I realized that my pointer finger on my left hand was massively injured (I won't tell you how - that's the super-creepy-gross part). So, my mom finally got my dad to realize and he stopped talking finally. My mom, being a nurse, got her medical kit out and began taking care of me, but it wasn't working. She was using this weird kind of band-aid that could heal anything if you just made the colors line up. But we couldn't get the pink to match the pink and the purple to go to the purple, so I mentally accepted the fact that I was going to loose my finger. I woke up and freaked out! But I still had my finger, fortunately, and I fell back to sleep holding my pointer finger in my other hand to protect it. All day today, I have felt very conscious of my pointer finger. It's almost as if I am surprised it is still there - the dream was just so vivid. But typing this, I am very aware of each key I strike with that finger. It just feels weird to have it actually be there and still working. I guess this is the opposite of what docs call "phantom limb sensation." That's when you loose a limb and still feel it there and still try to use it and such. I still have my finger, but I feel like it's not there. Strange. That's all I have to say. Hopefully this will go away by tomorrow.

Monday, November 28

caoutchouc!

No, that's not a sneeze, it's French for rubber. How do I know that? Mr. Rubberhands told me so.

For those of you who have met Mr. Rubberhands, here's a link to a BBC News photo journal showing the Firestone Rubber Plantation (the biggest in the world) in Liberia. It made me laugh. It also got that song stuck in my head again. Damn.




ps - (It also made me angry that a Japanese (formerly US) firm is paying the workers $3/day. I wonder what their executives make over in Tokyo. But let's not go there.)

Tuesday, November 22

Leather Elbow Patches

Last week, I went to an inspiring dinner with three friends in my (former) grad program. Three of the four of us are pretty sure that we want to go on and become professors. I guess this says a lot about the people I hang out with, huh? We're all a bunch of nerds. Which is alright by me.

Anyway, we came to discuss the odd habits of our GSIS professors, including DeMartino's habit of filling up a mug with hot water (no teabag or anything) and proceeding to drink it before he crosses the threshold back into his office. MK says he does this a few times a day. We also spoke of professors that jingle the change in their pocket while they lecture - to the point where you could guess exactly which coins were in there. I still giggle about PVA's overuse of the endearing term, "friend," as in "good job on that paper, my friend" or his use of "guy" in the same manner: "great point you brought up in class today, guy!"

This was followed by a discussion of our future odd habits that our students will notice (and then sit around the same table and discuss). Jim definitely had the most pronounced habits. First of all, his head-tilting habit lets you know what he is thinking. His flipping-pen syndrome is also pretty apparent, although sometimes he mixes that in with the pen moustache (holding a pen tightly between his upper lip and nose before trying to let it fall and catch it in his mouth--we caught him doing it in class). I recommended that he not do the pen-moustache while listening to students' presentations.

Does the fact that Jim has these strange habits make him more likely to be successful at this whole teaching thing? Since this conversation last week, I have been trying to notice my strange habits that will carry over into the classroom. I am sure that they exist, but I just can't recognize them yet. If anyone has noticed any of my habits or has any ideas of habits I can try to incorporate into my repertoire, let me know.

Today's Emotion

I am not really sure if I am done or just beginning.

I handed in my last paper today. Done with grad school. Now I can focus on Peace Corps. Now I can focus on saying good-bye. Leaving the life I have gotten pretty good at.

Stupid me, I thought this would be easy.

Sunday, November 20

Driving the cities of West Africa

This is what driving in Monrovia, Liberia looks like. It's a picture from BBC News, and has the caption: life returns to normal.

Normal? Now, I am a girl from Jersey. I know traffic circles, let me tell you. But I am still not sure what exactly is going on driving-wise in this picture. Who has the right of way, and don't those two yellow cars look like they are about to crash? Oh, and there are two more yellow cars about to clear the intersection that look like they already have! Yes, those two yellow ones right in front of the Red Cross SUV. And there are people scattered throughout the street. How, in heaven's name, do they know when to cross? And which cars are parked and which ones are moving? I guess if I were there in real life, this might make a bit more sense?

Now, I know that I am supposed to be writing about utilizing "intergrated development" to better solve the long-term problems of refugee populations, but I am instead rereading the BBCNews Africa page, like I do way too frequently. I always find some picture to stare at and try to imagine myself there - listening to the sounds, smelling the scents, truly placing myself within the picture. And this picture has made me feel one way only: thankful. Thankful that I will NOT be living in Conakry or Monrovia or Dakar or whatever other city's traffic must look like this. I prefer to cross the street without feeling the need to pray.

Friday, November 18

An Update:

The list of things I cut off the post-it note in my planner and crumpled up yesterday and today (aka the list of things completed!):

-Applied Field Methods Final exam (18 pages)
-Political Economy of Inequality final paper (16 pages)
-Book review for PE of Inequality (7 pages)
-Statistical Analysis for PE of Inequality (6 pages)
-Group presentation on "the future" (1.5 hours)

I so earned the right to snort wasabi up my nose if I please!

Please Note....

That on Nov 10th, I had 41 pages left to write.

Today, Nov 18th, I have 18 left. I rule.

By tomorrow, I will have 12 left. All due Monday at noon. Not a problem.

Wednesday, November 16

You know you're an econ nerd when....

-You would rather continue reading about flat vs graduated income taxes as a means to redistribute wealth than take a break with a friend.

-You tell your friend, "Come look at this before you leave - this MNC tax is AMAZING!"

-You get excited about vertical integration of agro commodities in developing economies.

-You write this and it makes you happier than anything in the world:

"The West will not, out of altruism, reverse the system of trade that continues to exploit the developing world. It is Africa, Asia, Latin America that must fight to force the needed change. As long as the South remains a price-taker in the world economy, especially for agricultural commodities, it will continue to be exploited and global inequality will continue to persist."

Ok, back to taxes and world trade!!!!! Yippeeeeee!

Tuesday, November 15

Mind Control

What I am Trying NOT To Think About:

-my future market in Guinea
-stupid boys
-shoes
-not so stupid boys
-packing
-my trip to NY and DC
-Turkey (I wait all year for Thanksgiving)

What I am Trying TO Think About:

-gender justice in the realm of capabilites and income inequalities

C'mon, Brain, work with me!!!!

Monday, November 14

Sheisse....

The eye twitch has begun.

I only get it when I am stressed. It's kinda like my body's way of focusing my attention on the stress. C'mon, body, like I didn't know I was freaking out without the signal!

The Planner

I am forever indebted to a simple pile of papers held together by a wire spriral. It is my planner, and I love him. Let me show you what this week looks like:





















You can see that it is finals week, and therefore, I have no life. Please note the little green post-it on the right page (the second half of the week). It has a list of all that needs to get done, along with the pages it is and when it is due. For everything I finish, I get to not only scribble it out on that little green post-it, I get to cut it out and RIP IT UP! How much of a stress-relieving symbolic ritual is that?!

To be honest, I go through kind of manic-depressive stages with this list of to-do papers. At one moment, I am on top of it all - so ready for this week - in charge of my own A+ destiny. At the next moment, I feel like I will never make it through - that I am not made for grad school - that I am going to just shrivel up and die still clutching that green to-do list.

So, bear with me these next few days. You may want to stay out of my way (especially when I am driving - I tend to not care as much about pedestrians when stressed).

But I will be DONE with grad school by next Tuesday! How crazy is that?!

Sunday, November 13

Da Punchies Part II

Ummm.... to explain Da Punchies Part I, my lazy butt is going to link to Heather. She wrote it up so nicely!

http://swandive00.blogspot.com/2005/11/when-crazies-get-punchies.html

Oh, and yesterday I successfully wrote 4 pages, not the 8 I had planned. Oh well.

My Bipolar Self

How I Felt an Hour Ago:

Yeah running down a dream
That never would come to me
Working on a mystery
Going wherever it leads
Running down a dream

I rolled on as the sky grew dark
I put the pedal down to make some time
There's something good waiting down this road
I'm picking up whatever is mine

How I Feel Now:

Well I don’t know what I’ve been told
You never slow down, you never grow old
I’m tired of screwing up,
I’m tired of goin’ down
I’m tired of myself,
I’m tired of this town
Oh my my, oh hell yes
Honey put on that party dress
Buy me a drink, sing me a song,
Take me as I come ’cause I can’t stay long

Africa's First Female President

Well, even though Mr. Weah is claiming election fraud, it looks like Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf is going to be the first president of Liberia since the war. She has said that she wants to bring "motherly sensitivity and emotion to the presidency." I like this idea, especially in West Africa, where pompous male leaders have lead to the deaths of thousands over the last 15 years. Sensitivity, whether from a male or female, will hopefully work to heal the wounds suffered throughout the region.

Some of Weah's supporters are protesting the election, even though Ecowas has stated that the elections were free and fair. I am worried that this could prevent Liberia's healing. In a nation where people are used to picking up guns for reasons such as this, it is going to be difficult to keep this peaceful. In fact, protesters have already come into conflict with the police - and tear gas was used to disperse the crowd. Hopefully this is all we will hear about. I pray that this is all we will hear about.

If Liberia can do this, it gives me hope for the rest of the world.

Saturday, November 12

Da Punchies.....

The curious incident of the raisin:

"Raisin yo' foes!"

"You're a banana problem."

"I don't want the raisin to do the chewing for me!"

I will explain later. Maybe.

Friday, November 11

Sleepless Night

Last night, after I finished my AFM Research Design paper (which came out well, I might add!), I went stright to bed. It was early - only 12:30, but I was exhausted.

The only problem was that I couldn't fall asleep! I kept mentally writing papers or correcting the one I had just written - you know adding a half a sentence of clarification here or whatever. I guess the stress of finals is once again getting to me!

So, I decided at around 1:30 to STOP thinking about school. I did some deep breathing stuff and tried to relax myself into sleep. Of course, then I started worrying about my packing list for Guinea! I remember looking at the clock at around 3ish before I dozed off. For some reason, I just couldn't control all these worries....

So, needlesss to say, I am exhausted. I woke up at 6, got to school by 8am, and I will hopefully be home by 8pm. I was so tired during my break from class this morning, I wasn't sure if I had the energy to walk DOWNstairs to visit MK. That's pathetic!

I can only think about one thing right now: I know what I am doing tonight - getting home ASAP and getting into PJ's for a little something I like to call B-E-D.

Update:

Now only 41 pages left! Getting there!


Assignment and Pages Left:

stat paper: 2
book review: 5
research design: 0 (yay!)
AFM final: 12
Ineq Final: 10
Refugee Final: 12

Total: 41

Thursday, November 10

Wednesday, November 9

A New Pineapple

Has anyone else noticed the new emblem on the Building for Hotel, Restaurant, and Tourism Management. Is it just me, or is it a pineapple?

I noticed it today while taking a break outside the library. It made me crack up! I mean - a new beautiful building with a HUGE (and I mean HUGE!) pineapple on the front. Am I the only one who doesn't really get it?

It kinda reminded me of the Barbarini bee. The Barbarini family was a wealthy family in Rome whose signature emblem was the bee. So, on any artwork they commissioned, there is an overabundance of bees (see Bernini's Baldacchino at St. Peter's below - you can see the bees everywhere!) There was also a family that put pinecones everywhere. I forget who they were, but if you see a pinecone in Italy, it was paid for by you-know-who.



























So, if following the Barbarini example, does the pineapple at DU represent some family that donated the cash to DU to build that new building?

Maybe I should decide on an emblem to represent my family. Then I can put it on buildings all over the world, and then generations to come will know who funded it. Or maybe I should put off deciding until I have enough money to build a giant bronze canopy.... maybe that will be my cue to decide on a family emblem.

How am I supposed to get more work done?

When Sara makes me daydream with this picture of a market in Guinea:



My last daydream: My mom is visiting me, and I make her walk across those planks to get into the market. She is scared, just like I was my first time, but I convince her to cross by saying with a giggle, "Ma, do you want to eat or not?" She thinks it is dirty and smells bad, but I remind her that it is my home.

Two months and two days left, right? Wow.

ps - check out those electric lines in the background!

Update:

I have written some pages that have lowered the ticker on the side menu. Check it out ----->>>

Sunday, November 6

Ummmmm.......

If anyone is looking for a job in Conakry, Guinea, check this out:

Vacancy: APCD/Small Enterprise Development
Location: Conakry, Guinea

Looks like they are looking for my future APCD RIGHT NOW!

And knowing how long the PC hiring process takes, I betcha we will have an APCD change in 6-12 months! How WEIRD to see my own APCD's job announcement online!!!!!

Saturday, November 5

Re-Energized

Ten Great Things That Happened to Me Tonight:

1) I left work an hour early.

2) For $3 I replaced the battery in my car clicker thing (aka keyless entry remote)! Who knew Batteries Plus existed?

3) I was made fun of by Rob in front of a classroom of people for still having his Ripples of the Zambezi book.

4) I learned about this really cool Bulgarian crafts organization that I want to buy stuff from to furnish my next home. Hey, it can't all be from Africa.

5) I walked into the ISAID/Peace Corps Community conference as Bernie was presenting about sex, drugs, and drinking.

6) During the breakout session, I was one of the two MIs in a room full of RPCVs from Africa. Got great answers to my questions.

7) I realized I am leaving in two months. Which is less time than a quarter at DU.

8) Chris handed me an African mask from Namibia and told me to smell it. "It smells like the market where I bought it."

9) On ONE single plate, I had Zambian collard greens, Sierra Leonian chicken, baklava, and some Armenian meat wrapped in grape leaves. Peace Corps shin-digs feed you well.

10) I got tipsy at the GSIS again.

Well, folks, I have been reinspired. I am ready for Africa!

Friday, November 4

My Encounter with Mr. Henry McKoy

How am I going to set up a program that actually helps the people in my village in Guinea?

Today at school, I met the Africa Regional Director for Peace Corps, Henry McKoy. An RPCV and I were able to ask him a few questions about setting up PC placements and he had some very interesting responses. To begin, Charley (RPCV Tanzania) and I asked him how PC assesses the needs of a community before they send a volunteer there. Mr. McKoy said that PC meets mostly with big-wig gov't officials to assess the needs, and because PC is invited into a country, they can't do much more. A single two-week session of meetings with the Foreign Minister and the Ministers of Agriculture or Education or whatever, and PC is good to go.

So, we concluded that PC does not really do any type of research about the needs of a community. I followed up with a question about training volunteers to do accurate needs assessments once they get to their site. He said that volunteers are taught to do an "informal" needs assessments when they get to site, whatever that means. He gave me some examples and told some good stories, but he really didn't convince Charley or I that PC focuses on the real people and not only the government's wishes.

I was somewhat surprised the PC doesn't focus more on finding the true needs of the community or at least rigorously training a volunteer to do so. I mean, do government officials in Guinea know what things their constituents actually need? I was reminded by Charley afterwards that PC is political - involving both the US and the foreign gov't heavily. I guess I just always try to put that fact out of my head. I really want to set up projects that address the actual felt needs of my community, and I am not really sure I will be able to do that.

Sometimes when I start to overthink it all, I just have to say to myself "Forget it, Amy. Just go over to Guinea and have a good time."

It's Friday - I am not going to think about it anymore. I am going to finish up work, go to the Peace Corps event at 4 (which I will hopefully write more about), and then start the weekend!

To-Do List for the Weekend

I am going to write two pages that have 5 page minimums. Two easy ones to cross off. That will feel good.

I am also going to take a bike ride this weekend. Alone. If it is not snowing (hey, you actually never know here in Denver and I haven't looked at the extended forecast in days). Anyway, bike ride.

And becasue every weekend needs some crazy birthday fun, I am going to go out Saturday to celebrate MARA'S BIRTHDAY!

Thursday, November 3

Beep beep beep - the Emergency Alert System has been activated.

Sometimes I forget how mean I actually am.

I mean, generally, I am a nice person, right? But when I get stressed and have to focus (aka, week 8 every quarter), the bitch in me really rears its ugly head. Many of you who know me well recognize that I get this way when I need down time, alone time, Amy-time. At these stressed moments, my Amy-time disappears - alone time turns into work time. And all of a sudden, I turn into a bitch.

Maybe I am sharing this with all of you as a warning. Don't take it personally if I don't feel like hanging out. It has absolutely nothing to do with you - absolutely nothing. It has everything to do with me and I apologize in advance for being a bad friend for the upcoming 2.5 weeks. In fact, I think this may also be somewhat related to Peace Corps stress as well, so I apologize for being a bad friend for the next.... ummm.... 2 months or so.

Thanks for understanding.

Wednesday, November 2

Crossing A Paper Off the To-Do List

Meeting with my Liberian friend to finish up the interview today.

I am sooooo excited!!!!


That's all. Back to my lentil and couscous soup.