Dumb-blonde is an understatement.

Yes, I am referring to myself. I have decided that I will make the perfect absent-minded professor one day if you base everything on what happened yesterday. The simple tasks were incredibly complicated, but I ate up an entire econ text on development strategies based on women’s empowerment.

Let me begin with my drive to campus. Around 10am, I decided to leave for school but stop at Kinkos on the way. I needed to mail a Fed Ex thing to the gods of bureaucracy (the Peace Corps). I have been to this Kinkos several times before – I know where it is, that’s all I am saying. Then, why couldn’t I get there? First I was planning on taking Kipling north, but I missed the turn. Then I make a sketchy u-turn to get back to Kipling, and I realized that I didn’t want to turn there in the first place. Kinkos isn’t on Kipling! I got on Kipling anyway and went a very very roundabout way to Wadsworth, where the Kinkos is actually located. Dumb Amy – it took me a half hour to make it there. Once I was there, I couldn’t figure out how to stick on the thing to send the envelope. And the not-so-helpful employee actually rolled his eyes at me. I think I sent it, but I am not really sure. We’ll see.

The absent-minded day doesn’t stop there. It did stop for awhile as I sat at a coffee shop all afternoon to read. That is where I am most normal – doing econ reading. No dumb blonde moments then.

However, on my way to French class later that day, my nalgene bottle decided to spit out its iced tea contents on my passenger seat. We all know how I would react to this – I freaked. I barely made it to my French class alive. I couldn’t focus on driving – all I could do was look at the puddle of spilled iced tea and think about my options. Should I try to absorb it with my fleece? Is it going to stain the leather? Do I have paper towels in my trunk? Is it dripping out the crack in the seat and spilling on the back carpet? Should I pull over and check?

Maybe I am too over-protective of my car. Just a thought. After all, it was just spilled iced tea.

Anyway, I got to French class and ran inside to grab paper towels from the rest room. Before I could do that, I had to drop off my books in class because I had about 80 things in my hands – the water bottle, my purse, my 6 books for French, my cell phone, etc. I dropped everything off, ran to the bathroom, grabbed towels and realized I didn’t have my keys. I went back into the classroom, looking for them. But, they weren’t there! I am now holding a HUGE wad of paper towels, trying to search through my pile of unorganized books and stuff for my keys. The scene must have been interesting, to say the least.

No keys. I went outside to my car, hoping I left it unlocked. On my way there, I saw two of my classmates looking very perplexed and holding a strange set of keys. They were mine. I had left them in the car door as I locked my car on my way into the building. Was I trying to get my car stolen? Anyway, I had found my keys, I cleaned up the iced tea, and went back into class, where I proceeded to spill the rest of my iced tea while my teacher was explaining the difference between the imparfait and passé compose. I excused myself to the rest room to get more paper towels, but I had already used them all up cleaning my car.

What a klutzy, stupid, air-head day. Maybe today will be better – I haven’t done anything stupid…..

Yet.