I have decided that I am definitely not running away this time. I am too sad about leaving Denver to be running away. And I was way too sad to leave DC to have been running away then. What do these two facts mean to me during this New Year's time of reflection?
I have concluded that I have been the luckiest girl since I graduated college. As an "adult," I have really set myself up well and enjoyed the two lives that I have created for myself. DC was wonderful - I reconnected with old friends, I made marvelous new friends, I had a not-too-bad job, and I found the spot that I felt was home. Oh, and I cooked a lot of meatloaf for Chris and friends. When I left, I remember just thinking to myself, "one more month" or even "one more year." In fact, after leaving DC in early August, I returned for a mini-break two weeks later just to see Sara, Chris, Kerry, and everyone else. It was wonderfully reassuring that even though I had moved away two weeks before, DC did not crumble and vanish. I could always go back and celebrate the past - my wonderful year there. And go back I did. In fact, I have returned to DC four times during my year and a half in Denver. And even though I sometimes spend over a week, I never feel like I have enough time with my friends and with my city.
Coming to Denver was difficult - I complained of the lack of public transportation, the lack of decent Italian food, and mostly, the lack of Pikes Peak or a major body of water. But when I set up shop in Denver, I fell in love with life all over again. I got to know the shape of Mt Morrison and I grew to love the always-brown Green Mountain. I was challenged in school, challenged in my relationships, challenged by the Colorado lifestyle once again. I look back at this past year and a half and think of Fritz's parties, class with Dr. DeMartino, skiing with MK, Kate, and Mara, study sessions at Capuvino, salsa nights, Santa Fe, PVA's energy even early in the morning, reunions with my CC girls... the list can go on and on. I have really lived the most blessed life here in Denver.
As 2006 begins, I am not just reminiscing because the calendar reminds me to. I am reminiscing because I am beginning a new phase of my life, and I must leave a place that I have grown to love. I cried as the fireworks went off on 16th St., not because I am scared of this new adventure, but because I am once again wishing for only one more month, or maybe even one more year. But I have to remember that even though I leave, Denver is not going to crumble and vanish while I am gone, just as DC had not. The happiness I have felt in both DC and Denver will stay with me forever, and I can come back to remind me of that happiness any time I need to. I am not losing Denver; I am not losing DC. I am just working towards finding similar challenge and happiness in Guinea. Nothing is going to change in these two years, and all of my friends, family, and favorite mountains will wait for me until I return.
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ps - I can say this with confidence - mountains don't fall, family is always family, and I have made my friends verbally promise to still love me when I get back in two years.
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