Wednesday, March 14
Thursday, March 8
Back in the Developed World and Not Happy About It
I am sick of travelling. I just want to come home. I really need to start living a life that doesn´t involve a backpack. I am tired.
I just found out the Nortons (the American missionary family) are going back to Siguiri, and it just breaks my heart. In fact, I teared up at this little internet cafe as I read their email. I am very jealous. I would give anything to still be in Bamako getting ready to go back. I am angry and confused. I know I have a lot to look forward to at home, but I truly feel like I had spent so much time working towards my second year, and it was all ripped away from me. I worked for a year to learn a language, make friends, feel comfortable, learn how to eat, do laundry, learn everything. The second year was supposed to be the comfortable time that was going to make up for all the hell I had gone through in the first. My projects were finally going to start working; my relationships were finally strong; my life in Siguiri was finally enjoyable. And then it was all taken away. All I want right now is to go back. I am grieving from a loss that was out of my control, and my life will never be the same. I need to find a way to let go and be happy again, but I am not really sure how to start.
After 12 days in Morocco, Reid and I have traveled about an hour down the coast from Barcelona to a town called Sitges - a cute village right on the Mediterranean. It´s gorgeous and the sun was out today and we ate cheese and chorizo and crackers on the beach, but I just wanted to go back to the hotel and nap. Who isn´t happy when they lie on the beach facing the green blue Mediterranean? I think I am depressed, and I need some support to start dealing with all of this.
At least I have a wonderful place to go home to. If I can´t be in Siguiri, there is no better place than Denver. I will be coming home soon.
I just found out the Nortons (the American missionary family) are going back to Siguiri, and it just breaks my heart. In fact, I teared up at this little internet cafe as I read their email. I am very jealous. I would give anything to still be in Bamako getting ready to go back. I am angry and confused. I know I have a lot to look forward to at home, but I truly feel like I had spent so much time working towards my second year, and it was all ripped away from me. I worked for a year to learn a language, make friends, feel comfortable, learn how to eat, do laundry, learn everything. The second year was supposed to be the comfortable time that was going to make up for all the hell I had gone through in the first. My projects were finally going to start working; my relationships were finally strong; my life in Siguiri was finally enjoyable. And then it was all taken away. All I want right now is to go back. I am grieving from a loss that was out of my control, and my life will never be the same. I need to find a way to let go and be happy again, but I am not really sure how to start.
After 12 days in Morocco, Reid and I have traveled about an hour down the coast from Barcelona to a town called Sitges - a cute village right on the Mediterranean. It´s gorgeous and the sun was out today and we ate cheese and chorizo and crackers on the beach, but I just wanted to go back to the hotel and nap. Who isn´t happy when they lie on the beach facing the green blue Mediterranean? I think I am depressed, and I need some support to start dealing with all of this.
At least I have a wonderful place to go home to. If I can´t be in Siguiri, there is no better place than Denver. I will be coming home soon.
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