So, I was all excited to go to the Sushi Boat last night. I got all pretty after the gym, Reid looked good, we jumped into the car, and my spirits were high. After all, who doesn't love to go back to their favorite restaurant after a 16 month hiatus?

We drove all the way down I-25, exited on Hampden, made a left on Locust, and turned into the parking lot. But everything was dark. "Maybe I am in the wrong parking lot. Where did the Sushi Boat go?" I asked myself. I looked around a bit more, and then I noticed the last remnant of the Sushi Boat - a giant wooden boat on top of the building that used to say to me, "Welcome, Amy. It's great to see you again! Come and let me get you a caterpillar roll and an asparagus roll. We know they are your favorites! Oh, and for dessert, let me bring you two beautiful pieces of unagi." Well, last night, the boat on top of my favorite sushi place no longer talked to me. Everything was dark. The Sushi Boat had been boarded up and closed down.

Now, I know it wasn't the most popular place. I know the people of Denver always prefer the Sushi Den. In fact, before I left for Guinea, I called to make reservations for my party, and they asked me, "Wait, a reservation for 20 people? This is the Sushi BOAT, not the Sushi Den. Ma'am, did you mean to call the Sushi Den?" No I did not! I love you, my dearest Sushi Boat!

It makes sense they couldn't stay open. Often Heather and I were one of three tables seated on Friday night. But they never brought me a bite of sushi I didn't like.

They will be missed. Now, where am I supposed to go????

Let's Celebrate!

This man is about to start working for a law firm:

Yes, Reid got a job! I will tell you all more about it (i.e. brag about my amazing boyfriend) soon!

Rainy thoughts

I told Reid it never rained here. I told him it woud always be sunny. But today, it's pouring. Horizontally. It's cold. Honestly, it's the perfect day to stay inside with a great book, but I have to head to work instead. I guess most people have to do the same. Except for the last year and a half, I didn't have to. For the last year and a half, I was able to stay indoors on days like this, enjoying a cup of tea and some rest, but that life is over, isn't it? Instead, I trudge through the rain to come to work hoping my hair doesn't get wet, my computer stays safely dry, and my pants don't get ruined.

It's quite the change, but it is time....

Interview

Reid has an interview today, and I am the one who is nervous. Well, so is he, but anyway....

I know he is going to be amazing and have a Denver job in no time!

Good luck, honey!

My Guinea Stuff

I was evacuated in January. The stuff I packed in my house in Siguiri may get to me by August. Here's the email I received today:

"I’m sure many of you are wondering about the status of the baggage you shipped from Guinea. Here is what I can tell you: The shipment is being sent by sea freight and will not arrive in the United States for at least another three months."

Thanks Peace Corps for getting the job done, but in the lengthiest manner possible.

So, it's supposedly going to snow tonight. Accumulation up to 12 inches in Denver is possible. I come home from Mali, barely escaping the oncoming hot season, but you know what I didn't escape? Denver's late spring snows.... Grrr.... I don't even know if I have gloves.

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

I apologize for the oversight, everyone, but I left something

out of the last entry that was critical:

THANK YOU, my MK, for helping me get a job so quickly and being a shoulder to lean on as I resettled. You have made my 1st month back so much better, you have no idea. I love you!

On track....

So, life has been getting better. The apartment is lookin' good with its new furniture (pictures to come really soon, Guinea soon that is....), and I am loving living with Reid. After making a bomb middle eastern lunch for my mom and our landlord, we sit here, each in our comfy chairs, each with a laptop and a cup of homemade chicken soup (it's been snowing here). It's quite cute, really. And it feels right.

Oh, and sorry I didn't mention it sooner, but I GOT A JOB! I will be a program coordinator at the Institute of Leadership and Organizational Performance (aka, The Institute) at Daniels College of Business at DU. I will be helping to organize all the events of the Insitute, including Second Friday Seminars and the custom programs Daniels does for Denver businesses like Kaiser Permanente and Newmont Mining (they mine gold in Northern Ghana!). It's going to be a great job with a great group of people, and I can't wait to start. Although I know when I start, I give up the Peace Corps way of life (meaning 4-5 hours of work, MAX, a day). But it's gotta happen and I have to pay some bills, so "hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to the real job I go."

Life is going well, and it's only going to get better!

Insomnia

I know I haven't written since I have been home. There's a reason. There's nothing I am comfortable with sharing. I opened up blogger many times to share the small stuff I have done in Ameriki. I got a fancy iPod. I have an apartment. I got a car. It's red and gorgeous, and the pictures would make you all smile for me. Especially if you knew how much I loved Ricki, my old car. My new car is like a revamped Ricki, and I am supposed to be happy. I was going to tell everyone about how great life was with this new red dream, but the truth is the car stresses me out.

Pretty much everything stresses me out these days. Readjustment's a bitch. So many decisions to make, no time to make them. And each time I make a decision, I second guess it every time I think about it. I got a new apartment which is pretty - just as pretty as my car - but it has caused me more stress than happiness. Is Reid going to like it? Are we going to make a good life there? Can I pay the rent? Where will my shoes go? Could we have gotten a cheaper one? But in the same neighborhood? Is the commute going to be annoying? Are the gym/ roads/ building/ supermarket going to be too crowded, making me wish I lived in the less hectic suburbs? I can't even list all the questions I have asked myself about every single decision I have made.

All this adds up to one thing: I feel more insecure and scared than I think I have ever been. Don't laugh. It IS more difficult than leaving for Guinea.

But, just as in the past, I know in my brain it will all work out. I know I will love the apartment, the car, the job, the classes. I know I can handle it all in the long run. I am good at this stuff. That's what my brain says. But my nerves say something different. I am terrified. I am out (way far out) of my comfort zone.

But life is dreadful inside the comfort zone. I can't stay in there too long. Every year or two I need to be scared. I need life to challenge me and I need to conquer it. And I will conquer it. But it's a process. And writing my first honest blog entry from America is a step in the right direction. I am being honest, not only with all of you, but with myself.

I am done ignoring the pain, the fear, the discomfort, the anxiety.... I am going to feel it all, be aware of it, and live. Isn't it times like this that make me feel most alive? I am experiencing the true spectrum of emotion, and in the ashes of a great loss, I am going to rebuild and live on. And I will be put together and happy again soon.....